Track name: This Is What Makes Us Girls
Artist: Lana Del Rey
Album: Born To Die
Played 1,214 times
Loving the way arsenal fans on my fb are bloody expecting us to lose against Wigan.
I beg you stop breathing.
I’m an odd person. I’m odd because I have random and ridiculous thoughts.
Some of these thoughts include but are not limited to: smoking weed, doing it outdoors, doing the lottery and other things. I have some random thoughts and sometimes, they come out and then I look dumb. I know my girlfriend will see this but that doesn’t bother me. I know I looked dumb this evening but I simply asked if she would ever smoke weed because I would.
I know she can’t because she has asthma, which I forgot, but I genuinely just wondered. I guess I would smoke a blunt one day. But it would be once. I gave the scenario of where and when. At 4am when the sun comes up in Summer and the air is full of nothing but birds singing and it would be just me and her, or me and people I’m close to. Which happens to be her.
I would try weed one day, but I’m also going stir crazy in the house and I think that I might go real crazy soon if I don’t find work. I feel like I’m becoming impressionable. I’ve watched Black Books every day for the past week, so I’m desperate for wine, red or white, even though I hate wine, especially cheap wine. I’ve seen pictures of weed, so I want to try some. I became this Twitter eejit back in September 2010 going into the early months of 2011 because it was my first time having people who liked me. Rachel hated it, but at the time I didn’t understand but now I do and tbh I’m grateful she said it because somebody cared.
When I’m unhappy and someone shows me kindness, its not hard for me to become engulfed. Years of self dislike and peer issues did that to me.
Right now, I’m just a mess and I’m not even sure that it’s going to get better. I just know I’m not at my worst yet.
When cocaine becomes attractive, then I’m fucked