4/15/2014 (10:45pm)

right now

  • i feel ill
  • i want pancakes
  • i want ice cream
  • i ate all my tomato pizza things
  • i ate all the cinnamon buns
  • can i cry
  • I want pork pibil tacos
  • the maoams are gone

#i cannot#deal#i'm becoming a fucking whimp

4/15/2014 (10:40pm) 2 notes


There comes a point where you get tired of watching people live the life that you want to live. 

*picks up the phone* “Hello I would like to report that this post shot me right in the woman testes!” Too fucking real post. Too motherfucking real. Me. Right now.

4/15/2014 (10:39pm) 50,959 notes


*puts my bro’s dick in my hand*

see, its a metaphor. it’s only gay if i jack it

(via team-striker-eureka)

4/15/2014 (10:37pm) 51,837 notes



my favorite term is “practicing homosexual” like why yes, i am in training to be the best gay ever

Art requires dedication, devotion, and discipline.

(via team-striker-eureka)

The world didn’t get worse, homie, your eyes just got wider.

∞ 263,573 notes

fuckin deep ass top comment on youtube (via 7ns)

(Source: cas-wants-the-dean, via team-striker-eureka)




Life lesson: If anyone is scared of you, lick them.

#okay but if legendaries are basically like gods this is like zeus coming down from mt. olympus and licking your face

if it was zeus he’d do a hell of a lot more than lick your face let’s be real

(via team-striker-eureka)


I bet they’re listening to Pompeii by Bastille, remembering the good old days

(Source: codiceotto, via admiral-toast)

4/15/2014 (10:33pm) 4,391 notes



this ship is bananas



i spent 5 minutes straight laughing about this without breathing and this has 9 notes

(via admiral-toast)